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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23291917">Anything?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid'>HyperKid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Modern AU [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anything But Clothes Day, Crack, Fluff, Modern AU, Multi, Nudity, Other, because I McFucking Can, partially clothed, technical nudity?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:15:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,655</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23291917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Really, the college should have known Anything But Clothes Day was a terrible idea. They certainly did by the end of the day.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Background PolyNein, Beau/Yasha/Jester/Caleb/Fjord/Molly/Caduceus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Modern AU [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>139</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Anything?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HK: Ahhh, the last in the original set of 3 that finally kicked me in the butt to start my own modern AU! I hope to get on to the next one soon, because I require Yussah. <br/>Mollymauk: You’ve been dreadfully remiss so far. <br/>HK: None of you fucks have attended a class so far. <br/>Mollymauk: Will Yussah be teaching a class? <br/>HK: ....... That is a blatant technicality. <br/>Mollymauk: So you have to accept it. <br/>HK: That’s not the same as having to like it! <br/>Mollymauk: You do though. <br/>HK: ... Yeeeeeah. So everyone, since I am in quarantine I’ve actually been doing more cosplay stuff than writing, but I am hoping to fix that! <br/>Mollymauk: If we’re all going to be stuck indoors anyway, we may as well have crack! <br/>HK: Exactly! Crack, smut, and fluff will see us through! So don’t forget to wash your hands and stay the fuck at home 💙 </p>
<p>WARNINGS!! Molly. Jester. Group nudity. And Caduceus? </p>
<p>Disclaimer: I still own nothing and no one but I assume there’s a heist we can plan to fix that</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anything But Clothes Day was either 100% Jester’s idea, or invented by people who had never even heard of her. No one really knew well enough to be sure but the posters were all over the campus. </p>

<p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Included the student council’s logo. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Might have been fake. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It didn’t matter, since the idea also immediately gained traction, and every class involved at least one discussion of what, exactly, “anything but clothes” meant. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you’re boooooring it means garbage bags,” Jester declared cheerfully over lunch, legs kicked up on the bench beside her as she leaned back into Beau. The monk was pretending to ignore her to focus on her food, but noticeably hadn’t tried to move her. “But if you want to be interesting you could make new clothes out of pretty much anything!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I saw a chick on Insta with a cape made of leaves,” Beau mused thoughtfully, dropping french fries into her mouth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Think we can make one by next week?” Molly asked innocently, a broad smile on their lips. Beau flipped them off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s a fuckin’ druid or something, I didn’t mean I wanted one!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You could use a shower curtain,” Fjord put in quickly. Defusing the argument before it could start, being slow to the party, he wasn’t going to specify which. It certainly turned all heads in his direction. Green cheeks flushed a muddy red and he stared back defiantly. “Like a toga.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A transparent toga?” Molly’s voice and smile both dripped lascivious suggestions and made the half orc laugh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you like?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why are we not just wearing our clothes?” Caleb asked as he glanced up from his book for the first time in a while. Jester groaned dramatically and shifted her feet into his lap. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Clothes are BORING, Cayyyy-leb! It’s not going to hurt you to get into the fun of the thing!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You could wear mud,” Nott cut in cheerfully as Caleb’s brows furrowed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Which, honestly, did nothing for his confusion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just mud?” He asked, glancing around the group in time to watch Molly and Jester’s smiles bloom in unison. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And a handprint.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A muddy handprint!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“One from each of us?” Molly offered and Jester cackled with glee. Fighting a smile of his own, Caleb shook his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I am not going to be running around the town naked.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You wouldn’t be naked, you’d have mud on,” Yasha added quietly, a hint of a smile on her lips. Glancing around to shoot her a slightly exasperated look, the wizard pointedly lifted his book. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mud does not count as clothing and I do not want to be arrested.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can’t arrest you if they can’t catch you,” Beau noted thoughtfully, a shit eating grin on her face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>About to argue, Caleb paused and considered it. A slight smile tugged at his lips. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You are not wrong,” he agreed somewhat reluctantly, closing his book carefully and setting it aside. “So why are we doing this?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nott rummaged around in her clothes for a moment, tugging out a rumpled notice and pushing it across the table. It was a little stained but no one was about to ask questions. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know about why, but it’s a student event thing. Sounds like fun!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds like an opportunity for group nudity,” Yasha said with a slight chuckle. She’d already finished most of her food, and begun stealing Molly’s fries. The tiefling didn’t seem to mind. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s what she said, fun!” Beau agreed with a grin, leaning over to snag a few fries of her own. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The general group consensus was definitely that they were doing it. It was Molly’s idea that they not mention how; far better to all just... show up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’ll be a test of creativity,” was their winning argument, which of course made the whole thing into a challenge. And while everyone knew that Jester was probably going to fuck them all up with something ridiculous, that didn’t mean it was over. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was a good thing they had a week to prepare. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>** </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Beau wound up just covering herself in her usual wraps; it was something she knew well, and she did actually manage to wrap herself into some pretty interesting looks. She actually went for full pants, which surprised everyone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nott must have gotten wind of it, because she had gone in a different direction. Something in Jester’s comment about garbage bags must have stuck with her, but she’d decided to get a little... stranger. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She must have collected every chip packet in the house, stapled them together, and made herself some kind of poncho. The brightly coloured outsides of the bags crinkled with every movement and caught the light in a very distracting way. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>No one was quite sure where the fuck Fjord got enough seaweed to weave a toga, but under mass harassment he finally admitted that he’d asked the Wildmother for inspiration... and gotten assistance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey! Were we allowed to ask gods!” Jester huffed, arms folding and lower lip sticking out in a pout. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You didn’t say we couldn’t,” Fjord shot back, grinning smugly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jester stuck her tongue out at him too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah well I made something cooler than you anyway!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“With the Traveler’s help you’d have worn a cupcake.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And I would be delicious!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Entirely under her own steam, Jester had come up with something expectedly spectacular. It must have taken her the full week of crafting, and potentially more hot glue than a single craft store held, but she managed to make herself an adorable puffy sleeved dress from ribbons and gift bows. It looked the most like actual clothing for sure, and initially the others had thought she’d gotten the day wrong. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was perfectly happy to show her work though, and challenge any of the others to take it off her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Caleb had also decided something in a dress style would be easier than pants, so for once he’d gone with a more traditional wizardly robe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was made of book pages. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Book pages all torn from three copies of Tusk Love. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Jester recognized it immediately, and chased her way around him giggling to find that each and every smutty page had gone to covering the crotch regions. Caleb was just a little smug about the whole thing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Molly and Yasha were a little late to the meetup, and when they arrived, it was together. Yasha seemed to be dressed pretty much normally, in a sweater and tight black pants. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Molly... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Was covered only by their tail looped around their waist, and Yasha’s hands covering their tits. They greeted the group with a broad smile and a wave. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It wasn’t “wear nothing at all day”, asshole,” Nott snapped, her eyes narrowing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m wearing something,” Molly countered with a lazy grin, jerking their thumb over their shoulder, “I’m wearing Yasha.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>All eyes shifted to the large barbarian, who grinned back and shrugged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Technically I’m not clothes,” she pointed out brightly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The group fell silent for a long, long moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It felt like cheating? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It had to be cheating. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was definitely cheating. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But was there an actual rule against it? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We weren’t supposed to tell each other our plans,” Jester protested finally, but slowly, like she already knew Molly would have an answer. Which they did. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Of course they did. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Yasha provided it with a small smile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They only asked me this morning, as I was about to leave.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“An’ you weren’t joining in?” Beau asked, her voice leaning towards aggressive though her eyes were filled with disappointment. Yasha half shrugged, her hands not moving from Molly’s chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They’d be in a trick spot if she did move them although technically tails also didn’t count for indecent exposure. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I had a few ideas early in the week but they didn’t really pan out.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I told you you couldn’t wear a sword,” Nott snickered, coming around to the idea gradually. Yasha nudged a foot in her direction. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You were right,” the large barbarian admitted with a grin, shaking her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And then Caduceus walked in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Also naked from head to toe, but doing nothing whatsoever to cover it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good morning everyone,” he said cheerfully, apparently utterly unconcerned by any of their strange clothes and his own nudity. Though, to be fair to him.... the fur covered pretty much everything. Even his dick was safely tucked away in its pouch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Could definitely spot the balls, though. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Predictably, Jester recovered first. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Caduceus? How did you get here like that, we’re at the library?” Alright, there weren’t many firbolg in Nicodranas... and she couldn’t actually name a single one if asked. But you’d think someone would have noticed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And probably told the guard. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Caduceus seemed surprised by the question, blinking slowly at her and then looking to the others. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I thought this was what we were doing today? Mollymauk didn’t get dressed before they left so I figured we were all being naked.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Technically I’m wearing Yasha,” Molly raised a hand, still just a little dumbfounded. And just a little late to the logical next step. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can wear me,” Fjord jumped on it without hesitating, shooting the firbolg a broad grin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Caduceus still looked confused for a moment, until he caught sight of where Yasha’s hands were firmly fixed. And then he frowned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can’t see my nipples under my fur, Fjord?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The half orc alone wasn’t quite up to correcting him. Luckily, they had a pair of tieflings more than happy to pick up the slack. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>** </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The fact that they made it through the day without anyone getting arrested was probably a minor miracle. Probably from the Traveler, though the Wildmother and the Moonweaver were just as likely to enjoy it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And partially down to a well timed Expeditious Retreat from Caleb. Not a single page of his robe survived it. But everyone on campus had to agree... this was probably the last Anything But Clothes Day. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nothing was going to top it. </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HK: This honestly started with just Molly’s choice but I couldn’t resist giving everyone something with a little flare! And of course Caduceus just doesn’t pay enough attention to know what’s going on.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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